Life in the West is still very wild--from the people to the animals. Living in a man-made world like NY and LA alters your reality. When I would hike around Laurel Canyon or Central Park I never worried about a grizzly bear or mountain lion sneaking up on me. The thought never crossed my mind! The only thing I worried about was maybe a gang member jumping out from behind a bush to rob or rape me.

I was hiking the other day in this wonderful cedar grove about 40 miles outside of Missoula. Cedar trees can live for more than 3,000 years and when you walk in a cedar grove you can feel their life force. There's this incredible silence and you can almost hear them whispering to you. In Indian folklore they talk about the Tree People--I think they were referring to the cedars. I've been on film shoots in the redwood forest but never had this feeling. Maybe it was because there were people around. Maybe you have to be alone with the great redwoods and cedars before they talk to you.

My reality has shifted here. In LA and NY I hated my life but wasn't sure why. I had a nice home, made good money and still I was depressed. There are so many choices and maybe that's the problem. Keeping up with the Jones can be daunting. Unless you're eating at the hippest restaurant, wearing the latest fashion, driving the most expensive car, living in the best neighborhood, or writing the wittiest dialogue do you ever feel quite good enough. But even if you have the latest and greatest, are you really happy? Even the rich and famous destroy their lives or commit suicide.

I meet the most interesting people in my store. I own a game store (board games and puzzles) but the store feels more like a bookstore on Madison Avenue, which I love. The other day a man came in to browse through the strategy war games. We got to talking and he told me he was a Druid Magician. Since I've never met one before, I had lots of questions. Whenever he spoke, anger dripped from his lips. I swear that at times I could see a spark of yellow in is eyes--reminding me of cat's eyes.

The Indians say that a Big Foot lives in the mountain behind the University of Montana and that it loves to eat melons. There are a group of Indians that have been depositing melons somewhere on the mountain side. They've been doing it for generations. Whether there's a Big Foot or not, I love the idea.

RC

This is my first blog. I'm not sure even what to say. I guess I needed a place to vent, to sing, to muse. I've been living in Missoula for year. I moved here from LA where I lived for 16 years. Before that, I lived in NY for 14 years. I got so sick of large cities! I was working in the film business. At first I loved it - I wanted to be writer and producer. I worked as a producer while writing in the off-job seasons but found it hard to finish anything. It didn't seem important enough to see my thoughts in black and white. I enjoyed living more than sitting in my office, alone, writing my thoughts and ideas. I hated dealing with the egos. They were never satisfied, they always wanted more. It was all so shallow and unfulfilling. I love where I live now. Life is slower, people are kinder, the view is beautiful. I feel G-d now. I only felt empty in LA. I no longer fear gangs, terroist attacks, riots, earthquakes, shallow people, or the unending need to compete. I see the eagle fly, the beaver swim, the elk run and human kindness. Here I am, and here I'll stay, where G-d walks, smiles and whispers to me.